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Do I Feel Like I'm Happy Now?

by Evie Balfe

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1.
I'm wearing a crown, Do I feel like, do I feel like I'm special now? Do I feel like I'm living the life I've been dreaming about? Do I feel like that now? I'm wearing a crown, Do I feel like, do I feel like I'm happy now? Do I feel like, do I feel like I've figured it out? Do I feel like that now? I'm wearing a crown, I just feel like, I just feel like time's running out, I just hear the, I just hear the clock ticking down, I'm under pressure now. I'm wearing a crown, I just feel like, I just feel an imposter now, I just feel like, I just feel like I'm checking out, I'm checking out. I'm wearing a crown, I just feel like, I just feel like they can't hear me shout, I don't know what I'm doing here, I just blank it out, I'm crying now. I'm wearing a crown, I just feel like, I just feel like they can't hear me shout, I don't know what I'm doing here, I just blank it out, I'm crying now.
2.
I think we remember it differently, You're fond of those times but it felt like a climb to me. The girl's with their vicious tongue, The looks and the words they hurled, they stung, and yet Somehow we're back in the school ground now, Somehow we're back. My mother warned me about, Your duplicity, you're all one person now, But your play your other selves so perfectly. You must enjoy the drama, Take pleasure from other's trauma, And you must all flock together, You're all birds of a feather, You're all birds of a I think we remember it differently, You're fond of those times but it was never kind to me, I was so naive, believed every word, I was just a little girl and yet Somehow we're back in the school ground now, Somehow we're back. My mother warned me about, Your duplicity, you're all one person now, But your play your other selves so perfectly. You must enjoy the drama, Take pleasure from other's trauma, And you must all flock together, You're all birds of a feather, You're all birds of a feather. (My mother warned me about... One person now... So perfectly...) My mother warned me about, Your duplicity, you're all one person now, You must enjoy the drama, Take pleasure from other's trauma, And you must all flock together, You're all birds of a feather, You're all birds of a feather.
3.
Toxicity 03:31
I can feel the heat closing in, The touch of her lips, a forbidden sin. Drift away in cosmic dust, Leave the empty virus. Gotta break the cycle, Make them understand that love is love, I'll hold her hand. Everyday, everyday, We are fighting, not abiding Everyday, everyday, We are fighting, not abiding We are fighting, not abiding We are fighting, not abiding Faded grey, flannel shirt, Reaching out to embrace her, Cold, spring wind whistling through, I would run across town for you. Gotta break the cycle, Make them understand that love is love is love is love. Everyday yeah, everyday yeah, We are fighting, not abiding Everyday yeah, everyday yeah, We are fighting, not abiding We are fighting, not abiding We are fighting, not abiding Ooh, oh, everyday in history, We are fighting not abiding this toxicity, This toxicity, this toxicity, this toxicity. Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday. Oooh, oh.
4.
I'm Tired 03:28
Hey Lord, You know I'm tired Hey Lord, You know I'm tired Hey Lord, You know I'm tired of tears Hey Lord, just cut me loose Hey Lord, You know I'm fighting Hey Lord, You know I'm fighting I'm sure this world is done with me Hey Lord, You know it's true Now the tide is rollin' in I don't wanna win Let it take me, let it take me I'll be on my way How long can I stay? In a place that can't contain me Hey Lord, You know I'm tired Hey Lord, You know I'm tired Hey Lord, You know I'm trying Hey Lord, You know I'm trying It's all I got, is this enough? Hey Lord, I wanna stay Hey Lord, You know I'm fighting Hey Lord, You know I'll find it I don't know when or how today Hey Lord, I'm on my way
5.
Headstrong 05:37
You're so headstrong and independent, You always know what you want to say. I just go blank and can't react, I'm sorry I shy away. You're so headstrong and independent, So confident when I look at your face. But you forget I know you, you're insecure too, It's just you and me, there's not a winner today. And I catch your tears, But in my eyes you see the fear, That we'll lose this one day. Do we even know what we're fighting for? No-one ever showed me how to heal your pain, And it's not like we haven't been here before, Do we even know what we're fighting for? No-one ever showed me how to heal your pain, And it's not like we haven't been here before, Tell me what I need to do. Do we even know? We haven't been here before. Do we even know? Heal your pain, We haven't been here before. Do we even know what we're fighting for? No-one ever showed me how to heal your pain, And it's not like we haven't been here before, Do we even know what we're fighting for? No-one ever showed me how to heal your pain, And it's not like we haven't been here before, Ahhhhh Do we even know what we're fighting for? No-one ever showed me how to heal your pain, And it's not like we haven't been here before, Do we even know what we're fighting for?(You're so headstrong and) No-one ever showed me how to heal your pain, (Independent) And it's not like we haven't been here before, (You always know what you want to say) Do we even know what we're fighting for? (You're so headstrong and) (Do we even know?) No-one ever showed me how to heal your pain, (Independent) (Heal your pain) And it's not like we haven't been here before, (You always know what you want to say) (We haven't been here before) Do we even know what we're fighting for? (You're so headstrong and) (Do we even know?) No-one ever showed me how to heal your pain, (Independent) (Heal your pain) And it's not like we haven't been here before, (You always know what you want to say) (We haven't been here before)
6.
The stares, time to shift. The glares, time to shift. I am a master of my own disguises, Shifting operating systems, It's getting tiresome. Which one of me has taken over? Keeping the smile to avoid exposure, You're always so happy, Oh if only they knew, The steps taken daily, Just to get through. You're a mess, you're a ruin, You're gonna fail girl, what you doin? They don't care, you're alone, So much noise, ignore the phone. The stares, time to shift. The glares, time to shift. I am a master of my own disguises, Shifting operating systems, It's getting tiresome. I don't know who has taken over, I feel them all looking, Like I don't know her, Can they see through it? Or maybe they know, The steps I'm taking daily just to get through. Oh I am a master of my own disguises, Shifting operating systems, It's getting tiresome, woah. Shifting operating systems, It's getting tiresome. Shifting operating systems, It's getting tiresome. Shifting operating systems, It's getting tiresome. Shifting operating systems, It's getting tiresome.
7.
Grow 02:46
It's funny how one night can change your whole life, How just one line can cut deep like a knife. How one action can lose their trust, How asking for forgiveness becomes what you must do. Please allow me one last chance to grow, To be the person I want to be, not the person I know. It's funny how one night can change your whole life, Denying what your heart wants by saying goodbye. Watching the time pass, through the hourglass, I couldn't wait, I couldn't do it, the heartache was just too much. Please allow me one last chance to grow, To be the person I want to be, not the person I know.
8.
Darling I think it's time that you realise, That your life can't be lived, according to maybes. You can soldier on thinking you're not strong, But believe me, you've never been more wrong. You are so afraid of rejection, That you rejected, rejected yourself, Now dust yourself off and come down, come down from the shelf. I wanna say to you honey, don't give up, Just play the game your own way, Hater's will hate on you honey, don't listen, You know what you want so don't stray. Darling I think it's time to stop creating lies, To make you believe that you aren't worthy, I know you feel insecure but it is killing you're beauty, Let people see who you are. You are so afraid of rejection, That you rejected, rejected yourself, Now dust yourself off and come down, come down from the shelf. I wanna say to you honey, don't give up, Just play the game your own way, Hater's will hate on you honey, don't listen, You know what you want so don't stray. I wanna say to you honey, don't give up, Just play the game your own way, Hater's will hate on you honey, don't listen, You know what you want so don't stray.

about

'Do I Feel Like I'm Happy Now?' is Evie's debut album. Inspired by her personal struggles with self-esteem & identity and with her producer, James Albarn, Evie’s synth electronica-informed pop production layered with raw, ethereal vocals creates this emotional and uniquely sounding album.

credits

released December 2, 2022

Written by Evie Balfe and James Albarn
Produced by James Albarn
Mixed and Mastered by Jake Raywood

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about

Evie Balfe London, UK

Evie is a singer/songwriter writing ethereal indie pop music influenced by the likes of London Grammar and Lorde.

As well as performing as a solo artist, she is also the lead singer of the three piece electronic indie band Paint Factory.

Prior to releasing her debut single, Evie performed as a regular backing vocalist for the artist Nick Wilson at venues including Omeara London.
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